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No one talks about the new mom struggles. Sometimes I think to myself. These people must be living in the twilight zone because my mom’s life is nowhere near what you are talking about.
Motherhood has been the hardest to understand and the best I have done for my personal growth.
Even when it comes down to how I am supposed to look now that I have a child, I realize that men might be from another planet. LOL.
But seriously, why do some men think that women have it all together? That isn’t true?
There are struggles to being a woman that most men want to understand or choose not to. Women have it more challenging than ever.
There’s a lot that women have to deal with. To be honest, most men wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure. If you look at your partner and ask them to do specific tasks, watch their reactions. That will clearly show how they handle pressure and specific situations.
When a mom first brings a baby home, so much happens. This new little human being will rely on you for everything for the rest of your life.
It will be a long time before you can do anything just for yourself for a long time.
This post is about new mom struggles.
As new mothers, so much is expected of us. If you are an older mom, your family members think you have more of your life together, but that is not the case.
Having a good support group as new parents will be the best you can do for your physical and mental health.
Adjusting to your new role as a new mom will be hard in the first weeks and months.
You will have a hard time initially because you are pushed into sleep deprivation once you go into labor. It will be years before you recover.
This is one of the new mom struggles that other new moms don’t talk about and it is something that needs to be more open and transparent.
Signs of Postpartum Anxiety
The hardest thing to understand when you become a new mama is the changes you will go through. From your postpartum body, your postpartum recovery and being first-time mom stress of this extreme lifestyle change will hit you like a ton of bricks.
I suffer from general anxiety, so adding postpartum anxiety during my new motherhood journey was difficult.
Also, I was nine weeks postpartum when the world went on lockdown due to the covid-19 pandemic. My son even had a covid 19 birthday that wasn’t what we wanted but had to be done for the safety of everyone.
Here are some of the signs of postpartum anxiety that in the early days you might not notice, but others around you might
- Staying awake all night because you are afraid your baby will stop breathing in their sleep.
- Being terrified to leave your baby alone for a few minutes with an adult you trust (or your spouse).
- Being so afraid someone will hurt you or your child, the thought of leaving your house makes your heart race.
It doesn’t matter if you are a working mom, a work-from-home mom, a stay-at-home mom, or a woman suffering from postpartum anxiety, and it’s okay.
If you are having postpartum anxiety, your chance of postpartum depression increases.
Symptoms of Baby Blues
Most women go through “baby blues,” which is a period when you have a new baby, and the lack of sleep for the first time sends you into a temporary state of sadness. During my new mom struggles, I hadn’t heard of this before.
I know this all too well. I’ve had my share of mom postpartum depression, which was not pretty.
Even experienced moms can go through postpartum depression since it varies from birth to birth.
Good mothers also go through this part of their journey, so you should never feel ashamed if this is happening to you.
Here are the signs to look out for if you notice someone experiencing baby blues.
It can last a few days or weeks, but some of the biggest struggles of new moms are in the first month after childbirth.
- Mood swings
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Irritability
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Crying
- Reduced concentration
- Appetite problems
Postpartum depression is no joke and can seriously injure the mom and the baby if not treated. Talk to your health care provider if you are constantly doing negative self-talk, have negative feelings, or have too many hard days.
If these continue for a few weeks, the mom is at risk of postpartum depression.
Getting a handle on this early can lead to recovery earlier so you can enjoy your new baby and your new life as a mom.
Symptoms of Postpartum Depression
While postpartum depression is treatable new moms might not know they are experiencing it.
Hence, the family and friends need to notice and assist with getting help. Here are some of the signs of postpartum depression:
- Continuous feelings of sadness and uncontrollable crying
- Severe sleep problems – inability to sleep or to sleep too much
- Changes in appetite – eating too little or too much
- Excessive irritability, anger, worry, or agitation
- Extreme lack of energy and motivation
- Inability to get pleasure from previously enjoyed activities
- Lack of interest in the baby, friends, and family
- Mom guilt, worthlessness, despair, or hopelessness
- Inability to concentrate or make decisions
- Thoughts of harming the baby or yourself
The good news is that postpartum depression is treatable. Some medicines or natural techniques can help you get to a stable place.
The most important and challenging thing is to accept that you need help in the early months and allow people to help you.
The First Year of Motherhood
Proper nutrition will be a high priority to make you are staying in the best state possible. You will learn so much that after the hard work of getting your physical health in order, you will feel good enough to be “new real life.”
At the same time, you have done the work to gain a positive body image and overcome sleepless nights.
Your new job as a mom will allow you to make new friends, gain a best friend in your baby, and know that you are mastering this mom thing in a short time.
All of your struggles with your first child will help you better prepare in the event you want to have another child.
Getting out of the home to get some fresh air in the short term will help you get relief in less time than it would take going to the doctor.
General New Mom Struggles
Women are held to higher standards overall. The average for a man can get a $7 haircut, wash his face, and go to work or hit the bars.
If a woman tried that she’d would ge flack for it. Women have much more grooming to be viewed acceptably by the public.
A hairstyle, makeup, dealing with blemishes and wrinkles, and plucking hairs is more than the average man could handle daily.
Why do women have to date men in high-powered positions or something with status? Because society pressures women about status that there is no other option or alternaitve but to plan for the furture at a early age.
New moms need a lot of clothes. Even as a boy mom I have soon discovered that boys need a few shirts or jeans.
on. This even goes with social media, where you can’t repeat an outfit. You look poor, and other women won’t take you seriously.
Women need a lot of shoes. It’s not just clothing, but also shoes. A guy only needs a pair of brown boots, a pair of black, and athletic shoes. Such a feat is more complicated for women to pull off.
For example, a female office worker can’t get away with only two pairs of shoes in her life, but a male CEO could.
More Common Women Struggles
This isn’t the most exciting of work. Women often carry the brudden of the childrearing and caring for the home. While there are exceptions, women usually take greater responsibility for the children and the home.
Moms frequently take care of disgusting tasks. Dog vomit? “Tell your mother.” Running noses, diarrhea, pus, bloody knees, and dirty cleaning toilets are more likely to be dealt with by women than by men.
Women are judged by everything we do. An attractive woman with a horrible personality will still get attention from men.
On the other hand, an unattractive woman with who has alot to offer a partner is often gets ignored.
For example, a 50-year-old man is often considered attractive by a 35-year-old woman, but the opposite is rarely true.
What women are attracted to and what is right for them are often at odds. They know that the friendly accountant who loves his mother is their best choice.
Still, most women are much more attracted to the arrogant lousy boy who has left a trail of female carnage in his wake. Many women are secretly tortured.
In the workplace, women are paid less than men for the same job. Especially black women and women of color.
Our society is working toward equality in the workplace. Statistics show that most women still get paid less than men. Even with the same job responsibilities.
It’s not just paid but respect too. Women often work harder than their male peers.
Sure, there are good things that come with being a woman. However, those advantages come with significant disadvantages, too. It’s not easy being a woman at all, especially a woman with children.
Resources for New Moms
Sometimes it can be hard to reach out to people to let them know you are struggling. If you are, there are plenty of online resources for moms that will help you understand that what you are experiencing is normal.
That you can get the help, you need to feel better. Don’t let the new mom struggles steal your joy for your baby, you and your family.
Here are a few that are available regardless of location. Some are based on country or state (if you live in the US).
Overall these are good resources to start with if you are looking for more information on the first signs of how to feel better.
CDC
The CDC is a worldwide international resource. If you are looking for a baseline of what you do for your health, always check with the CDC. The CDC is the best way to keep up with what you need regarding vaccinations, overall health, and more.
ORIGIN
If you are looking for pelvic floor help, this is a great site and resource for you. This company was started by women who needed pelvic floor therapy and now provides coaching and resources to women nationwide.
LOOM
Suppose you want to learn more about your sexual and reproductive health. In that case, this site is an excellent resource for you and your family on why your body is doing certain things and ways to ensure you can get the help and support you need. LOOM is a subscription-based community of experts providing education and support for birthing people.
This post was about new mom struggles.
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