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Shame is something that I have never had a problem with until I had my son, Noah. Many of us are hesitant to ask for help. We feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask. We think it makes us look weak or incapable. But, all of this is untrue.
It might not be easy to ask for help, but it is smart. Asking for help is a great way to take control of and responsibility for your life. There’s certainly no shame in asking for help.
Ask and ye shall receive help with no Shame:
- Remember the times you’ve helped someone else. You’ve helped a lot of people over the course of your life. Do you think those people had a reason to feel shame because they asked for your help? You were probably happy to help.
- You can make someone else feel good just by asking for assistance!
- Asking for help is assertive behavior. There’s no reason to view asking for help as a weak behavior. Assertive people are more successful and take responsibility for their lives. You can practice being assertive by asking for help.
- Getting help saves time. Keep in mind that everything is faster with good help. Getting help is a smart move if you value your time. You’re more efficient when you ask for help. Don’t you want to be more efficient?
Shame can block blessings:
- You can do a better job with expert help. You’re not only faster with good help, you’re better. No matter what you need help with, there’s someone out there that’s more skilled or talented than you are. It only makes sense to ask for their assistance.
- Remember that many people need help. You only need to turn on the news to see how many people need help. It’s not surprising that you need help from time to time, too. Would you turn down someone that sincerely needed your help? Don’t let shame block a potential blessing that someone maybe able to give you.
- Swallow your pride. Pride is rarely a good thing. Pride is often just a weak and overly sensitive ego. Be strong and just do it. Pride comes before the fall, so they say. If you think about it, that makes sense.
- Mentally rehearse asking for help. Visualize asking for help and receiving a positive response. Repeat the process until you can imagine asking for help without a negative emotional response.
- This is a great habit to build for a variety of situations. With enough mental practice, you can be comfortable doing just about anything.
- Ask for help with something small. Give yourself a little practice. Think of something you could use some help with that isn’t an imposition. Ask for a ride to the store, a dollar or some advice. Become comfortable with asking for help.
- Pay for help. If you really need help, and you just can’t ask, then pay someone to help you. Whether you need help painting your house or need help for a mental health issue, there’s a professional that can help.
Why asking for help is important:
When you ask for help, you’re being efficient, assertive, and completing that task at a higher level than you could on your own.
Asking for help can be challenging, but it’s a smart move. Most people would love the opportunity to do something kind for someone else. People are so isolated these days, the person you ask will appreciate the chance to interact with someone in a meaningful way.
Swallow your pride and just ask. You have so much to gain and so little to lose. You can do it. Especially during this pandemic, shame has to go out of the window.